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‘MR. MOM’

Pat Gorman talks with daughter Madeline at their Scottsdale home.

Patrick Gorman has returned to the professional work world with four children in tow – and that’s very OK with him.

Gorman, a Realtor with 1st USA Realty, and his wife, Cheryl, have been married for 18 years. He says they tried for years to have children, with no luck, until they attempted the in vitro method. To their delight, they had their first child. With his wife heading back to Honeywell after her leave was over, the couple had a decision to make.

“We wanted at least one of us to stay home, to be there for our kids whenever they needed us,” he says.

Gorman freely admits the decision “was a big adjustment for me. I had to change my mind from being a guy that goes to work.”
Still, “the right thing to do was for her to continue doing what she was doing and for me to step back and be the caregiver. It’s a role that I’ve adapted to well because I like the flexibility that it’s provided,” he says. He took leave in the fall of 2001.

Gorman’s father had died in 1993. His mother, who lives in her native Spain, had to get used to the idea of role reversal.

‘The idea of me staying at home was obviously a cultural issue,” Gorman says. But after he explained the economics to her, his mother supported the switch.

“Now she thinks it’s a good thing,” he adds.

The couple decided to try for more children. Twins (Madeline and Xavier) came along when their oldest daughter, Maeve, was just two. Then, a fourth baby, Margaret, was born. His wife had heard through a coworker about a local chapter of Dad2Dads, a group of stay-at-home fathers who would plan outings with their children and provide support for each other.

Gorman is now a seasoned caregiver, and has become a Realtor to ease back into the work force. He also makes sure his wife feels included in the kids’ daily activities. That means “cluing mom when she needs to be there for certain things, so she can also know what’s going on with the children’s lives,” he says.

For dads thinking of staying at home, he offers advice for keeping it real:

“Find a healthy outlet, something that will allow your mind to think things through,” he says. “At the end of the day, ask yourself, ‘How was my day, what was OK, and what could I have changed?’ ”