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Learning Curve

Amateur pole dancers beware

Contrary idea, we know, but pole dancers should consider protective gear. Granted, chicas will look like Little Miss Sunshine while attempting sexy maneuvers on the pole, but check out these pole-dancing mishaps:

Pole Mishap No. 1: Teacher, a little help?

A would-be student in a pole-dancing workout class in New York is suing the gym Crunch, LLC after she suffered a fall during her free trial class. She was sliding upside down on the pole when she lost her grip and fell to the ground, seriously injuring both her shoulders according to her lawyer. She is seeking unspecified damages. Her suit alleges the instructor left her unsupervised and ignored her request for help. If you sign up for a pole-dancing class, we recommend you wear a helmet and tell the teacher you are clueless and need all the attention you can get.

Pole Mishap No. 2: Me, too

A 28-year-old Mesa woman sustained several injuries after going mano a mano with a dance pole at an East Mesa bar during “Ladies Night.” The 10-foot pole collapsed, she fell, and she is suing the club. In addition to the embarrassment, she claims to have also suffered neck and shoulder pain, depression and anxiety as a result.  That’s not all. Perhaps the worst part is that as the pole fell, she attempted to hold on to the jagged top, cutting off the tip of her ring finger, which was never recovered and required reconstructive surgery. For some reason, the ring finger seems the worst digit she could have possibly injured. One is left to wonder if she can claim extra compensation in her suit, as she’ll be reminded of the unfortunate event every time she looks at her engagement or wedding ring, if she wears one.

Pole Mishap No. 3:  Booby-trap injury

A 35-year-old man was enjoying an exotic dancer’s pole-dance performance at the Booby Trap, a cleverly named strip club in Pompano Beach, Florida, when the dancer’s shoe “flew off” (super-duper platform shoes, we assume). The shoe hit the mirrored ceiling, then landed on the man, shattering glass onto him as well. He filed a lawsuit claiming the establishment “breached its duty” when its employee “failed to perform her routine in a reasonably safe manner.” The suit seeks at least $15,000 in damages and claims the man suffered a small cut to his eyebrow, headaches, and nosebleeds from the incident.

Oh, the trauma.