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Najera Nites- SASHIMI, PHONE HANG-UPS IN MESA

NAJERA NITES

I think I am a lesbian. I do enjoy raw fish. So today I must talk about omikase (trust) and cash. As it were, nightlife in Phoenix increasingly disappoints me, save a quirky lezzie hee-haw lounge and a devastatingly expensive Japanese restaurant.

A few weekends ago, my friend Mateo was in town from L.A. He is a Latino film producer. He does not make films about Latino World War II veterans. Nobody does.

By the way, this is a total sidebar, but Medal of Honor winner/Arizona superhero Silvestre Herrera’s family hangs up on me when I call to request an interview with Señor Herrera. I am totally hurt! I’ve always wanted to meet him. He’s such a local icon. I grew up next to Herrera School in downtown Phoenix. My sister Reggie went there for a couple of years after the nuns at St. Mary’s Elementary (now torn down) declared that Reg was retarded. My mom and dad got upset and had her tested -- only to find out that she was just bored from doing grade level work. For the record, Reggie is now a doctor with multiple degrees including one from Harvard (which I call the Stanford of the East). Not that I’ll ever get to tell Silvestre Herrera any of this because his family hangs up on me. I heard he might be under the weather. I hope not. If that is the case, I totally understand. But if not, umph! If you know him, please tell him I’m not a stalker. Nor am I trying to solicit funds for District 7 Phoenix City Council candidates. Speaking of, back to my beautiful dykes and sashimi tale.

So Mateo was staying with this friend of his, Lucy (who strikes me as a big, giant tart, even though I don’t know why, because she also seems super nice). Lucy moved from L.A. to Mesa so she could invest in a condo here and then go back to buy beachfront property in L.A. after she’s flipped her Mesa condo. Mesa. We’re talking Stapley and University. Umm. This incredibly brilliant move reminds me of when my friend Jane Poston, fab jazz singer and City of Chandler PIO under the pin-up goddess Nachie Marquez, told me her family invested in Cardinals season tickets back in the Nineties. Smart, smart, smart.

Mateo wanted to see what our town has to offer. So I took him to a Frida Kahlo party thrown by Radio La Buena Onda’s El Break in Phoenix College Dean Trino Sandoval’s condo. Now that is a condo you could buy and flip -- mainly because it has nothing to do with Mesa. I love those La Onda tramps -- especially the girl DJs. They’re young, bilingual, arty hipsters who advocate for immigrants’ rights while they get their drink on. They are like New School CPLC. Think Danny O., Alfredo and Ed with tighter bodies and plumper nalgas which can fit in tube dresses and Candies shoes. Wow, where the hell did that come from? Sometimes I worry myself. ;-)

Damn, I need to get back to the lesbian sushi because I only have 300 words left. Damn Managing Editor Anita Mabante Leach for restricting my word count again. And P.S. Anita -- don’t think I didn’t catch how you cut my Jay-Z lyrics due to profanity in my July column! That’s alright girl -- we’ll always have Ms. Moya. Oh! I totally forgot to tell you guys that Anita used to take flamenco class with Ms. Moya back in the day, too! We all did.

The fabulous, late Laura Moya, in 1980’s Phoenix, was an exotic Spanish dancer who taught many of us young Latinos how to share their European pride through the love of flamenco. Nothing quite says Chicano like a red polka dot dress with a black fringe shawl or toreador pants. You weren’t cool unless you took her flamenco class. Me, my sis, LPM’s Anita, media gal Deanne Poulos, Phoenix College’s Monica Castañeda and all of Xerox’s Lupe Villaseñor clan: that is Laura (fireman Billy Shield’s wife), E-bay guru JoAnna and City Council Assistant Joseph. The only drag was that me and Joseph were the only dudes. If you see him in City Hall, ask him to show you his castanets. He’s totally right-wing Christian now, so that means he’ll happily show you his castanets. Just kidding. Sort of.

There’s no room left to tell you the rest of the Mateo story. Just go to Cash Inn in Phoenix and Sea Saw in Scottsdale. All good stories end with pretty girls kissing and award-winning Japanese tapas. Do the omikase at Sea Saw. Trust me, it’s worth the cash.